So yesterday I receive a leter from my lawyer, in which the other side are asking for a delay to our next court date [my husband has already stayed proceedings twice while blaming me for the delay - we have been at the divorce stage now for two years]. Apparently they need some more informaton from another source, independent of us - but they have had at least 6 monhs to obtain this. Oh, and in his lawyer's letter they want to make it clear that they are as anxious to move the timetable along as we are . . . . hmmmm. My internal voice was saying Oh yeah?
My lawyer was all for pushing things along, as she has reminded them repeatedly of the impending court date, and the need to be ready for it, since it was agreed back in June. However I have asked her to agree to their request for a delay (which we may not get). I still think he is in two minds about what he wants. Whatever he decides I am OK with now, which is a good place to be. There really is no point in rushing everything for the sake of a few weeks more when it has been going on for so long. [I am now 5 and a half years into full MLC behavaviour and a furhter 2-3 years of increasing depression and withdrawal prior to that. So not quite a newbie.
But this behaviour seems typical of so many MLCers. They push for divorce, then they delay, while saying it is us/external circumstances causing the delays.
It truly is a very long process. Patience, hope and long suffering are the keys to this, whatever the ultimate outcome. I want my h to be ahppy and healed more than I want a relationship with him. It is pitiful to see him like this, unhappy, alienated and separated from his children. Our relationship I missed greatly, and still do, but I have moved a long way since then. We have to deal with all the hurt and pain and then we reach a place of calm, and unconditional and undemanding love, and gratidiufe for what we had and still have.. Of course I am not always in that place, but it where I want to be, as it feels good to me.