SHould I say I love you?

[JudoScott]

and for the record I already have women interested in me. I'm going to enjoy it.

[JudoScott]

Todays been really rough I keep going between not carnig and moving on and utter depression and trying to find a way to keep hope alive. WTF is wrong with me. I got to find a way to let this bitch go.

[sandi2]

When a person's heart is hooked by another.....it is hard to get it back in tact without expecting a lot of cuts & tears along the way of digging that hook out.

That old four letter word.......time. Takes lots of it to heal.

[Truegritter]

Respect me,

How can you demand this? Respect is earned and its starts with your own self respect.

Why do you need her to give this to you?

Why do you think you are entitled to this? Because you are married to her?

Your self respect will be recovered when you decide what YOU want.

And don't let her or anyone else sway you from YOUR choices.

Do you want to get divorced? Then get divorced but do it because that's what you want

Not as a reaction to some choice your W made.

You want to be married? Then do you think fighting with her, making demands and forcing her is going to work?

No excuse for her choice to have an affair (yes she is having an affair) If she is talkig about dating this dude to your face.

It is fact.

BUT

You had a part on the demise of this M.

dump you "not boyfriend"

You don't control this either. So ...

Demanding it ain't going to anything.

and work for change

What are you doing to change yourself? Cause that is the only thing you control.

If she came back right now what would change?

or GTFO because I am better than this.

You may be better than this. I hope you are.

But that has nothing to do with how your W is treating you.

It is what you decide to do with this adversity in your M.

You are not better than this by just saying it.

Your W is not going to see you as that either by you saying it and acting how you've been acting.

You can't talk your way out of something you acted your way into.

So

What do want? What are you going to let your wife decide for you by her actions and choices.

You can run away and find some other woman to make you feel better but at the end of the day...

It is still you in the mirror.

What do you want?

Time to take charge of this and make your own choices.

[JudoScott]

Truegritter - I am doing [censored] for myself as well. Earlier in thethe thread I acknowledged my failures in this as well. I don't know where your coming from with the other woman thing, I'm not seeking another relationship.

I get what your saying I have alist of things I am working on to better myself. The book really helped me thing that.

[Truegritter]

and for the record I already have women interested in me. I'm going to enjoy it.

This ^^^^^

Is where I got it.

Your words not mine.

I am not trying to bust your stones.

If what I am saying stings a bit then you need to look at why.

I know what you are feeling and your actions are not congruent to what you say you want.

Here is something to think about...

You say you want to work on your M

But it is conditional

On how your wife behaves or what she chooses?

When you took your vows did you say

"I will love and honor you the rest of your life, for better or worse

BUT

If you get confused and make bad choices

I won't"

?

You control what YOU want and what kind of man you want to be.

Your M is in crisis. Your W is running away.

You have been here 11 days.

Are you going to let someone compromise your integrity and your honor in 11 days?

How does that make you any better than your W?

You didn't answer my question either...

What do YOU want?

Figure that out and do it. Forget your W and what she is doing right now.

Now it is about getting YOU back.

[JudoScott]

those are some good points bro I'll ave to think on that some

[JudoScott]

One things for certain, I want my M and my family. Divorce is a shitty option.

I have a lot fo other thing s I want I'll post them a bit later. ( fights are on lol )

[JudoScott]

She just got home from a party at his house. Trying to ignore this and act unaffected but Jesus my blood is boiling.

[Truegritter]

This sucks man.

What else do you need to know about this situation?

You will need to start removing yourself from this drama.

Detach.

Protect youself legally, finacially and especially emotionally.

You will not be able to save yourself or your M when you are in the midst of this schidt.

Read what I posted to you again.

You have some thinking to do and some decisions to make.

Start focusing on what YOU want NOT what she is doing.

Take care of yourself. That is not by obsessing about what is going on with her.