What is and is not DBing

[sgctxok]

DB IS NOT 'ABOUT' the following or any one technique

Boundary setting
(you may need to set boundaries, but you will be more effective by setting the boundaries by changing yoru own behavior.)

Blaming your spouse
If you're blaming your spouse, you are not DBing. Your spouse may be to blame, but you move forward by changing your own behavior.

'Manning Up'; Stopping 'Cake-Eating', etc.
When we tell our stories on the board, we are only telling one side. Our friends on the board often get 'on our sides' and against our spouses....just like in 'real life'. It's nice and supportive......but that isn't usually the advice to follow.
Someone may tell us to stop our spouse's 'cake eating' when they don't know we had/have poor behaviors that contributed to our spouse's poor behavior. Folks who as probing questions about our own part in this, lead us to take better actions.