Sandi, there was an implication that she exposed herself over the internet via Skype. To me, that is not the same as passively viewing porn and breaks the PA barrier. If it doesn't for you, ok. My point was to get her to see it from her H's point of view.
I am in no way throwing stones of any kind. In every post, I have said that I'm on her side and I want her to heal from this. The sooner she accepts her reality and gets to a place of learning from understanding the better. I am challenging her to think from a different perspective with the utmost respect for what she's been through. There are enough other posters holding her hand, telling her it'll be ok and even blaming her H. Some people on this board waste years stuck in feelings unable to move forward. I don't want her to be one of those people.
By the way, the goal can't just be "it was what is was and move on". We tell the LBS's every day not to except a WS back until they have accepted responsibility and learned from what they did. How can we now tell her something different?
For the record, just because I have challenged her to consider something does not mean that I am 1)namecalling, 2)believe she should take that position or 3)being mean. When I asked her to just think about moving, it's not because I think she should. It's because it could get really uncomfortable if her H continues to be nasty about the D. She needs to ask herself, "can I take that?" if it happens. When I pointed out that someone may have recorded whatever she did on Skype, it wasn't to be cruel. It was to make her consider that fact in case she's ever tempted again and also consider the fact that her H may have something to use against so she can try to protect herself.
SoA, I am sorry for my comment about missing my point "just like the other cheaters..." I reacted before I thought and I shouldn't have.
