Jin I'm so sorry you are going through this but you are strong and will be ok.
I also had a day of crying. Just coming to terms with how could this man I loved and trusted so much be so heartless, cruel, manipulative, etc.
The only thing to remember is that it is NOT OUR FAULT. IT IS NOT OUR PROBLEM. They are like that all on their own and we have to look inside and find out why we stayed hooked in with someone who mistreated us.For my case, it was a lot of blaming myself and constantly being on a roller coaster of hurt where I felt I had to defend myself. But even when I do nothing he continues to be hurtful so I just need to protect myself. Period.
Focus on you and only you and don't worry what/how H is doing. Maybe stop asking for updates from SIL so that you can close the door and focus on yourself.
