NFTP .. i generally do not respond to posters on my thread who i suspect will be one time posters but i will address this one.
please excuse my harshness ..
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We don't know that is what you want. I think you miss the point. It is not that all women want to be provided for and protected. The point is society tells us (men) that this is what we should do.
if you don't know what your w wants, then you need to ask her, validate her, and learn to ask the right questions. active listening.
society may be feeding you this. but is society running the show? we as individuals have a responsibility .. how did divorce become the 'norm'? because of society's acceptance of it? do we have to accept it just because hollywood glorifies it? society says infidelity is a 'norm' .. should i label every man as a cheater? we as individuals are part of society that is sending this message or creating this 'acceptance'.
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I do now and it was exactly this point, "why don't I get credit when I do the 'right' thing". I was playing by society's rules, not by W's.
that line shows that you're keeping score in your marriage which is a big problem. you never keep score .. or do this 'tit for tat' thing that it sounds like. you're an adult, not a child.
besides, what you think is the right thing, may not be the 'right' thing for her. and that's why you shouldn't keep score. you're giving yourself a donation to the love bank but to her, it might be a withdrawal.
anyway, i'm going to end the discussion here. i will continue to use this thread to document my own journey to healing.
