LBS Living...

[irishblessings]

Thanks 25 - the ego thing hit home. No I wouldn't shrivel up with grief and yes, part of this pain is humiliation/embarrassment/shame. I don't like to admit it - but it is there.

Last night I drove 2 hours to watch my middle daughter dance at her college's football game. Of course, in the past this is something that was shared - but last night it was me alone. So in between dances, I grabbed a beer, my ipod, and sat and people-watched. I was alone - but ok. Afterward, went back to her house ate a little bit - got up early this morning and came home for pilates. My new life. Today, H is making the drive to have lunch with her for her birthday. There are times when it is all so odd that a year ago we were at parents weekend together having a great time. But here's the deal I had a GREAT time too. It just was different.

25 - how's my life going / what am I doing to be happy with myself and my kids? First and foremost I feel clean. I am not exposed to daily reminders of the sexual addiction behaviors. I am beginning to create structures that are healthier for me and for the kids - even the older ones. I am more focused on creating a lovely home and home-life for me and my son. I am thinking more clearly. I am resting when I need to and not beating myself up so much if I don't accomplish all that I set out to do. I am beginning to put words to feelings if that makes sense - developing some clarity. I am making plans and following through with them. I am saying "no" when I need to say "no".

I am doing better...thanks for asking and for your incredible perspective!