Going Dark, Gaining Strenght

[JinBK]

NFTP, if you are admitting that you act this way, I think that is a good first step. I think a good 180 would be to say this to your W - a sincere apology and being specific about a behavior you want to change will go a long way. I know that all I have wanted through all of this is a little honesty and humility from my H.


Went to a lawyer yesterday. It was just going to be a first step, but the fee wasn't horrible and she was really nice. We're starting with an attempt at mediation. So, I listed all of our assets and explained my intent. Found out the new law in my state isn't 1 year after a separation agreement but 6 months after the initial separation the D can be final. So, that begins at the start of Sept. when I first moved out of the house.

The next step she is going to email H for him to come in and speak with her. We'll see how he responds. If he doesn't, we will go ahead with No Contest proceedings and serve him with D papers. He then has 40 days to sign or contest. If he fails to sign or contest in that time, I can just file without him.

What I like about this is that now H has to take at least SOME responsibility for the D. He's the one that brought up freaking D first! But like everything else in his life, I had to do THIS for him too. But now he has to take some responsibility for himself. And if he doesn't, well, it sure says something about what kind of person he is.

I woke up this morning and started crying. I still have no idea why he decided to be so cruel to me, and I guess I never will. All I wanted was a little honest from him. Why did he have to have this A, and then play games with me? When did he become this horrible person?

BUT I am seeing a play tonight that 2 friends worked on as designers, so that will be fun! And then Sunday I am helping another friend do her hair for her ballroom dancing competition.

I have a whole bunch of life errands to do, too. Laundry, cleaning the bathroom, and finally getting the rest of my crap put away from moving! I need one more shelf unit, then I will have a place for everything!