You're probably right to think things can be worked out in your marriage. I don't want to suggest that they can't. What I do want to suggest is that if you think about leaving, you tell your husband about those thoughts. I firmly believe that one of the reasons the stay-behind spouses elsewhere on this board get blindsided so "suddenly" is that they feel like they have things settled with their spouses . . . that maybe everyone's not really happy, but there's an unspoken agreement that what they do have is too good to give up. In reality, the other spouse has been battling down the urge to throw a tantrum and leave for years. At first it was just passing notions and felt like no big deal, then they began thinking of all the reasons not to leave--which led to thinking about ways to get past those obstacles, or beginning to think, "well, I'd have to stay until the kids are raised, so that's ten more years . . . " and then waking up one morning and realizing that the last kid has moved out of the house. Then one day they panic and decide they've been betraying themselves and they're ready to leave just like that. The stay-behind spouse thinks it all happened suddenly for no reason, but only because their spouse didn't talk to them openly about what they were feeling and what the stakes were. In effect, they didn't know the stakes they were playing for, and then they're left alone--and even if they had a LOT to do with the problems that drove their spouse out of the home, they feel with some justification that they've been sucker-punched without warning out of the blue.
I just want to encourage you to think it over and make sure that you're facing all the possible consequences for everyone and that you've made a real effort to have your husband understand what the consequences of his actions might be. It's not that it's a cure-all, it's just that if you let things like this stay under wraps they fester. It's like having a wound under a bandage. If you take the bandage off, you can see the pus and smell the sepsis, so you pour some peroxide in there and put a new bandage on nice and tight. That covers it up and you feel better for awhile, but if all you do is cover it up, you're going to end up losing the limb if you're lucky and your life if not. Don't let it fester.
