HI Flowmom! I read your post on my thread before I checked your thread.
Well, I heard something on the radio several weeks ago--they were talking about rebound relationships... "turns out that rebound relationships are not more likely to fail as previously thought. Each person has their own grieving period. If the people have healed and accepted the end of the previous relationship, they can successfully move into another one."
Doesn't this make sense? Honestly---I know some people on the forum have been alone for over 2 years and still haven't started dating. Others picked it up rather quickly. But the point that sticks with me is the GRIEVING period. We don't all mourn the deaths of loved ones in the same way, so why would it be expected that we would for the death of a marriage?
Rebound or not, you sound happy, calm, and rational as usual! I am happy for you and why not approach each relationship with optimism, and live in the short term rather than be bracing for the end?
Heck at least you two are on the same page!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Well, I heard something on the radio several weeks ago--they were talking about rebound relationships... "turns out that rebound relationships are not more likely to fail as previously thought. Each person has their own grieving period. If the people have healed and accepted the end of the previous relationship, they can successfully move into another one."
Doesn't this make sense?
Yes, it does make sense. And honestly I DID grieve. I cried until there were no more tears and I lived in the pain deeply for months. Perhaps I put in more time grieving in a few months than some do in years because of the sheer intensity of the process.
I hope that I'm taking a risk that is worth it by opening myself to intimacy with a man who seems very emotionally "safe".
Nice to hear from you!
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I phoned M last night. It just felt weird to not be in contact with him. He responded really warmly and was quite into chatting. I think he also wanted to break the ice. I'm glad that there is some friendship potential there, especially because of our mutual friends. He was a bit flirty too. I didn't initiate or encourage it but I won't lie...it feels good to know that he hasn't forgotten the "highlights" of our time together.
I went on a killer hike this morning to burn off some energy, but it didn't work. I'm very preoccupied with s-x these days...it's a bit ridiculous.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Hey Flow - I see you are back around and I wanted to give you a personal thanks for all the words of encouragement and support you gave me along the ways. Whenever it seemed like doom and gloom, you would be there with positive reinforcement.
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
oh, dear...the guys found my quiet little thread! eek!
yes I am a big music fan. it doesn't surprise me that some of you are talented with the wind instruments cause it takes a lot of hot air
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
