WAW 20 years and wants out

[Pensacolabroken]

serenity, why would she take the affair underground when I have told her she can have him?

[Virtually_Handsome]

Put down the microscope.

This isn't like throwing a light switch. You are asking for a big change. She may or may not be making it, but you are not going to see it in one day.

[Serenity13]

Pen~

You told her she could "have him" under your terms, ie: leaving the house...

If she isn't quite sure she wants to commit to that, she can turn it right around, act all sweet and nice, be the "wife" you want her to be, all the while still talking it up with him via secret cell phone or secret email account or fake FB name etc...

If she wants to cheat, she is going to cheat and there isn't a darn thing you are going to do about it.

[Pensacolabroken]

Serenity, you are right. OR she could realize she doesnt want that now she can have it, and can commit to repairing the marriage. And then I trust until I see other wise and then I walk away.

VH,

yes sir, I have been thinking about the overnight and realize I DO need to give time for her to make her own decision. Just not an EPOCH.

[Virtually_Handsome]

No, not an EPOCH, but a bit more than 20 minutes!

Even if she does decides to do it, she's going to be conflicted. There will be mixed signals, if you try to turn them into signals.

[Pensacolabroken]

VH,

I think am seeing those signals.

[Virtually_Handsome]

Go do something for yourself. The signals are going to be all over the place right now. Don't try to watch for them, and really, don't try to interpret them.

[KellBell0820]

Listen to Jeff (VH)! Interpreting does nothing but cause extra stress, and frankly . . . who needs that in this type of situation right?

[Pensacolabroken]

that is why I disinvited her from my boat trip tomorrow with my son.

she is out tonight with girlfriends. I am home with son.. tomorrow is another day.

thanks all.

[NotFromThesePart]

PB,

Have patience. It is just one boat trip. Both of you are going to be all over the map emotionaly for a while. Just stick to your plan.