I lost my other thread, I am guessing because I stopped posting on it and just flit back and forth on different threads...
I have been reading a few newbies for the last few days and I wanted to say something that may help the pain they are going through.
It took me a long, long time to learn this lesson and hopefully it will help someone get it a little quicker then it took me.
You want to know "why" this happened to you, your family, your children etc...
The "why" doesn't matter.
You can heal and find some semblance of closure without a concrete answer...Anything other than "Because they wanted to do it" is a crock...
The sheer amount of lies that go into an affair says that anything else would be an excuse...
Up until the last second, they had the choice to "remember" their vows and stand by them, yet they chose not to.
Regardless of what a crappy spouse you may have been, no one deserves the treatment that we read about on a day to day basis...
I thought that once I knew "why" this happened, I would at least be able to wrap my mind around the ugliness my life had become, and in time I figured out the "why" truly doesn't matter...What matters from this day forth is how I handle the situations life throws at me.
I had to figure out and then accept that my self worth, self esteem and self respect doesn't come from my spouse, it is something within myself that was hidden for so long...Once I "got" that, the inner strength came flooding in, strength I didn't even know I was capable of.
I fall and I falter, yet each time I am able to get back up...The tests I have been given have all taught me valuable lessons about me.
I validate myself and I don't need anyone on the face of this earth to do it for me anymore.
Yes, your spouse cheated, however you are not helpless and you are not without hope.
You have you now and that is a lesson I wouldn't give up for anything in the world.
You can do this and you can get your life back...
The choice is yours, stay in the muck or soar.
(((Hugs)))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
