My 40 year old wife's MLC

[Troy999]

Eric:
I know I had a chewing coming and I need it. I respect her-she has become so independent during this process and has absolutely no fear about leaving me and going out on her own. If we had the financial wherewithal she would have been long gone-for once our financial shape works in our favor by biding some time. I know this is a long, long journey. Its been 3 months now and its not going to end any time soon. In the future when she confronts me I plan to just listen and support her. I was doing that last night but then she starts in on the why won't you fight with me? Why are you so passive and that pushes my button and I say something I should not have said. I am angry at her about this. I know it does not help but I am angry. When she was crying for an hour last night i wanted so much to just put my arms around and hold her but I know that is not going to fly. My emotions over the past few weeks are frustration and anxiety. Not good ones to be over dosing on.

Patience-being able to wait for what you want. Not giving up.
Love-the feeling that you would do anything in the world for somebody without giving it a second thought. Supporting somebody even when you know they are wrong.
Compassion-putting yourself in somebody else's position and recognizing that they may feel differently about a situation that you would because they are a different person.
Understanding-recognizing that people react differently to different situations and it may not be the way you would have done something but that does not make it wrong.

I know the things I did to poison this marriage. I know I cannot talk my way out of the pain I caused. I can only look forward and try to work on me. She notices the changes I have made but currently they only make her more angry about the way I acted in the last year or so. The frustrating thing is that now that the cards are on the table we can tackle any problem that we have if we work together. The things that used to stress me out and keep me up at night are no longer a blip on my radar screen. I just keep praying for God to shine his light into my heart and make me a better person.