Situation not ideal - need opinions

[anothercasualty]

This is what I would do,
tell her
"Wife we need to talk,
what happened the other night can't happen ever again,
it was definitely the wrong thing to do, I haven't told you but I've been seeing someone lately and I don't want her to know that I'm still having sex with my wife. Nothing against you personally, the sex was ok but it just messes up my mind especially when I've decided it's time for me to be with someone else. I hope you understand so that we won't be doing that again."

If she gets angry and tries to start an argument, leave the room and tell her you've said your peace and don't want to discuss it. It took you a while to accept that you guys were getting a divorce and you don't want to backslide on the new found positive momentum in your life.

If she doesn't get angry, no worries, you have stopped the discussion, you led it where you wanted to go, instead of you being rejected by her which is what she would have discussed with you (99.9% guaranteed of that), something like "I don't want you to confuse what we did the other night and give you false hope, I still want to get a divorce, blah, blah, blah"

And then you continue living your merry little life,
you go out on certain evenings, you get a life,
some nights you go out, looking really good like you're going out on a date (hint, hint, going out on a few real dates won't kill you).

You let her go.
You've decided that this is the best thing.
You're no longer attracted to her that way.
You've moving on.
You're making it appear as if you're the one letting her go and not the other way around.

Or....

You continue doing what you're doing because we all know that you've been extremely successful so far ;-)

This was my plan almost to a T. I am done being "available" to her when she wants emotional or structural support. I am doing what I need, when I want to and she doesn't need to know any more than that. I have avoided the dating part because I wasn't sure If I could handle her dating. I think that is just a stupid fear on my part, and it's time to get over it. It's going to happen at some point why put off the enevitable. Actually, she has said she has no desire to be involved with anyone and wouldn't be dating anyone anytime soon. I could always remind her of that when she starts, but I'd rather just focus on dating myself... Let her do whatever the hell she wants. I'm not buying the fantasy...