Situation not ideal - need opinions

[anothercasualty]

[quote=robx
Did you ever ask yourself why you freaked out and moved out for 2 months when she said she was not happy?

What possessed you to be so scared by her saying she is not happy?

Do you have a history of running away when someone says to you "I'm not happy"?

It's a very interesting reaction to your wife telling you she's not happy. She didn't even ask you to move out, she just tell you she's unhappy and you freak out and move out?!

For 2 months?!

And then you ask her permission to come back to YOUR home?!

You should analyze that behavior, that needs to be fixed before anything else will have a chance at being fixed.[/quote]

Oh yeah... Well, my timeline was a little screwy in my post. I was feeling very depressed and lots of self loathing at this point. They were my self issues that I needed to deal with. I was trying to do that, but not very well... She started to go out a lot (The start of the EA) and I became suspicious. I conronted her and she said she wasn't happy. She was beginning to distance herself from me when I had told her I realy needed her support through my depression. I freaked out over my life and that she was distancing (actually can't blame her... I was a mess) but I recognized I needed to time myself out and figure my crap out, which I did. I was very clear about why I was leaving. That it wasn't about our marriage, but that I knew our marriage was being affected by it. That triggered her into not wanting to stay in or marriage the way it was, which led to not at all. I have admitted all of what I had brought to the table, made changes which she acknowledges, but she started to fantasize about her "Fantasy Divorce" scenario (see my other post) and that was it. She was done. She dragged her decision out for several more months, but I think that was just her building up the fantasy enough to believe it until she now had the ammo to justify the destruction of our marriage.

I didn't ask to move back in, I just did. I asked her to start MC with me, start her own IC and she went to her own 3 times and to MC twice, then dropped the actual D-bomb. She freaked out about the pressure of it all and moved to her parents for two days, then came back and reiterated we were done and she was going to move on. She still hasn't admitted or accepted that she has some serious issues of her own to work on. For her, the divorce will become a panecea where all her problems will vanish and she will find happiness and contentment. I am no longer standing in her way.