Hi piecers, not intending to start a new thread, just a questions I'd love some input on.

Overall H and I are still doing quite well. I'm just having a real tough time staying 'present', thinking, and calm enough to work towards a resolution when we're arguing. Arguing is such a new thing for us - not fun but it's a h&ll of a lot better than the withdrawing we did for years. But arguments - yeep. My brain goes *poof*; my insides become jelly, and I turn into the proverbial 'deer in the headlights' for a few moments ... and then run.

What can I say and/or think to myself when things get tense that will settle me down and keep me there with him, functioning and working towards a solution?

I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.