My 40 year old wife's MLC

[ericmsant2]

Troy

I was doing a great job of STFU until last night.

I am sorry BUT I do NOT agree with Alb statement that “Given the circumstances, it sounds like you handled yourself fairly well.’ (no offence Alb). I’m probably being a little harder on you than most but only for one reason – so that YOU do not continue to make the same mistakes that I made over and over and over again. So that you can be in a position to grown and learn from this and maybe just maybe get back your W. That is what you want right? If so, then re-read your post and tell me if you agree with Alb that you did okay.

So now that you know I am gonna be hard on ya….

Let me show you something…..

I got pissed and went our room to go to bed since

I had to be up at 4:30am this morning

I tell her I have nothing to say to her and try to walk out the door

I turned around and told her to hit me in the face

I[b] said its my house if you are so unhappy then you should leave and [b]I will handle the kids

I asked her what she wanted

You know what I see up there ^^^^^

I “told her”, I got “pissed”, I “had” to, I “tell her”, I “said” and I “asked”….

I see your control issue and see that your male ego, sense of entitlement and machco ‘tude took over.

I, I, I, Me, me, me, me, what I want, me, me, me, I, I, I…I want, I want, I need, I want, this is wrong, wow is me, I, I, I…..

What YOU want? Are you chitting me? You EXPECT her to consider what YOU want? I mean really?

What YOU are TELLING HER by your interaction is that she does not matter. Her feeling do not matter. You are telling her that it is what you want and I think she did already did that. And did that for how long? I think she dealt with YOUR depression. I think she dealt with YOUR bullchit for HOW LONG? AND NOW…..that you’ve done some changes, well she should just get back in line and cancel this whole divorce thing. Why can’t thing go back to the way they were, especially now that YOU made some changes? Troy, let me answer this for you. She does NOT want to go back to the way things were. Actually right now she does not want YOU. Having said this, she doesn’t know the new YOU – NOT YET.

You showed her in YOUR ACTIONS and IN YOUR WORDS that YOU are making her issues with HER about YOU. That’s not gonna work with someone in an MLC.

Guess what if I can see it Troy, so can she.

Let me ask you dude, do you respect her Troy? I mean really do you RESPECT HER? Hey between us guys. Seriously, do you really respect her?

And don’t give me any bullchit about yeah….I do and “I love her”…Fuc* dat – if you respect her then learn to STFU and LISTEN to what she has to say. Learn to be compassionate. Learn to look at things from HER perspective while at the same time realizing that she is fu*ked up in the head right now. Do not defend yourself…just listen.

I also see your anger and dude FTR, you have every right to be angry. Here is the thing….she is pissed off too. Your both pissed. So who is gonna be the better person? You or HER? Do you think she can be the better person right now? Have you really read the MLC resources? I mean really read them? Do you understand how long this process takes? Do you understand that first she must figure her own chit out, while at the same time YOU become the better option? Do you really understand it?

Look at these words and tell me what YOU think they mean…In your own words and I will be bother you for a response.

Patience

Love

Compassion

Understanding


What kind of person do you want to be Troy? I mean really – what kind? The kind that a woman can fall in love with because you respect her and her CHOICES. Hey, you may not agree with them BUT you can respect them. What kind of person Troy.

I hate to say it…you failed yesterday! Now get over it and do not beat yourself up; although I know YOU will. Don’t. You could have done better and hey FTR, maybe I am expecting too much from you. I don’t know. I want you to learn a few things about YOURSELF…about RESPECT…about COMPASSION and about true LOVE.

I am going back to stfu strategy and see what happens

Best thing that you could do. One other thing you need to add to this list….

Learn about where you really failed in the M…and no not just the depression, not just the “business” side of things….no…what I talk about is bigger than that…learn about YOU and HOW YOU interact with people. Learn about understanding, learn about real love, learn about control.

A few other comments…oh…and I’ll tell you what I say to others….feel free to go tell me to go f*ck myself. I don’t take it personal. Really I don’t.

She follows me back and starts in on the Why won't you move out and leave me in peace speech.

and she sluggs me twice on the back with her fists before I could get the door unlocked.

Honestly, do not leave the house BUT if you think it is best – do what you need to do. Others will tell you never to leave and realize that this would reflect negatively on you from a custody perspective. My advice, as best you can try to avoid her. Go out if she is there. Take the kids with you. Just try and stay away from her.

I turned around and told her to hit me in the face

Nice ….so you egg her on….really nice. Do you feel like more of a man? Can you see how this was probably not the smartest thing to do?

if she is that angry and she starts crying

She is angry…she is hurt…she will say things in her anger and hurt. Your response should be? Hint….It is not a mach response like “I will handle the kids”.

Says I am killing her by not leaving.

This is her trying to manipulate YOU into leaving. Ignore it.

Finally, Never and I mean never argue in front of the kids. They are the innocent bystanders in this. Next time this start up, I would suggest to HER that you guys have this conversation outside and AWAY from the kids. The reason….you do not want your kids angry at EITHER of YOU (you will be tempted to say not angry at YOU – but really you do not want them angry at there mom – even if she is trying to leave your ass).

Sorry if I am being too hard on you….

If you look inside yourself…you will understand why.

God Bless,
Eric