Andrew - you have to ask yourself why you trusted your W to manage this money when you know she's bipolar and spends when she's manic?
She's not capable right now of managing money - you wouldn't expect her to if she was schizophrenic, would you?
I suggest you arrange for some responsible person there to pay your bills for her, give her a (small) allowance for going out to eat, arrange for a certain amount of credit at the grocer's every week, and close the joint checking account. Ignore her paranoid rantings. Don't get sucked into arguing with her when she is mentally ill. Ask her family if they can help get her back on her meds/ back in to see her psychiatrist.
