I am loosing my mind today. I woke up last night after one hell of a bad dream. (you can just about guess of what my dream was about). Anyway my W has D17 text me and tell me that they bought some clothes at the mall. I asked about how much they spent. D17 told me that they did not keep track. I went and logged on and checked the bank. I was furious at the amount she spent. Now mind you she wanted this separation and there are costs associated for me not living there. Si I called her right up and asked what are you doing, I don't get paid till next week and that money was for food etc. All she said was I am sorry, and it was not a sincere sorry. I am beginning to detach a bit but reading these posts should I have a bright light hit me when I am completely detached. I mean I am taking the three youngest daughters out to dinner and a movie on Saturday. I think that I'm should just pull up in the driveway and beep the horn. I do not know if W is even going to be there, she has been sick that last couple of days. We are going on six months of her wanted this separation and about four months less a week that I have been out of the house. Also in reading others on this site and learning things about myself and my W. Are all the WAS indifferent to their spouses. I mean what is covering their emotions, she never acted like this before, it is like I do not exist or that she never had feelings for me. All she can bring up is 22 years of bad stuff in our marriage. All of you are helping me when I read what you tell others, maybe my thread is not as appealing as others because I don't seem to get the responses others do. So here is what I am going to do. I am seeing a C to help me get this resentment out or at least manage it better, to get some confidence back, I am going to start to exercise and go to the tanning booth. I am also going to get some new clothes. I am in a place right now this minute that I do not want to see my W for a while. We can text if needed. I read all of Futureunknown's thread last night, I am willing to wait it out and see what happens, listening to what he endured in pain and suffering, I wish I could shake his hand. I know this is not an exact science but all of the DB tactics seem to work well if implemented correctly just might work. I think the hard part is standing up to the WAS when and if they decide they want back in. The thread I read last night, when the wife just about begged to come back, he held his ground because he wanted full disclosure and transparancy she could not give him what he wanted and he held to his principles. I guess you have to be fully detached for that to happen. In my sitch my W has not said anything about a D or writing up a legal separation. She has however researched and found that we have to be separated for one year if we have children. I don't know what that is all about. Sorry I am rambling on but I have been addicted to this site after I read DR. Oh and by the way I here people telling the Spouse of a WAS not to let them read the book. Why is that. Is it because the WAW will know what you are attempting to do. I mean I did try to get my W to read DR and a book on forgiving Infidelity and she forcefully said no. Also the book DB, should I read that, I didn't know that was the first book, is not DR telling the steps to take. Anyway I will post after the dinner and movies with the girls. It should a blast. Until I post again.
