I am actually in almost an exact same position of you right now, differences are that my W is still in an EA and has moved into her own apartment, I have two small children also. She has told me a lot of the same things that you are saying, I think this is an important time to remember the don't believe anything she says/does thing. My W has come off of the fantasy a bit since she moved out, I think reality has started to set in, I am GAL and have cut off most communication with her, she now initiates daily contact so I can see that approach does work. I'm not sure what to tell you, hopefully others will have good advice I can apply too.
It is an extremely sad situation, WAW are'nt living in reality.
