You don't ask her anything. You simply state what you will do. Then back it up with action. Better yet, don't even state what you're going to do, just do it. Women see talk as cheap.
And of course keep on making you a better you.
Read the last chunk of my sitch. I had my plans for most scenarios. Once I knew that she couldn't/wouldn't commit to rebuilding our relationship, it was simple to pick the right plan to follow. I knew that a loveless marriage was the last thing I'd ever want.
You have to have the strength to know what you want, what your N.U.T.s are, what your values are. Know when you can compromise and when you need to dig your heels in regardless of how painful it can become.
