2 years later it's still not getting easier

[whitneypinch]

Hello HIL,

I can tell you I don't have the answers. I wish I did.

No, my XW is not walking back towards me at all BUT she does keep connected to me. Somedays she is cold and some days she will send ((((hugs)))) in emails.

She thinks we are great parents (LOL). The truth is we are the best divorced couple I know. My kids have the best life they could have, given the situation.
My 7 and 5 year are starting to have trouble at school. Of course my XW thinks that's just normal. I am from divorce and I know it's a direct symptom of the situation.

The big factor in my situation is that my XW is from an extremely wealthy family and my XW is very pretty, successful, physically fit etc. She has it all and a non-stop group of friends etc.
She owns her own house and cottage now.

She really does not need me at all.

I drive my kids to school and have extra nights with them when she is travelling for work. I have debated many times not being available but concluded I would rather have the extra time with my kids instead of trying to make it difficult for her.

I have been out with her and our kids a number of times and I can tell you 100% (for me) that it is not very good. Most of the time she is guarded and it's heartbreaking to be standing next to her and be treated like a stranger. The next day is also awful as it plays havoc of your self-esteem. I also end up missing her and my kids even more.

I am not sure how it will be for you to spend holidays together but maybe you should try a few times to see how she reacts.

The next time my EX suggests we do something all together I am just going to ask her "why"?

Just keep coming to these boards to read.
Every once and awhile someone will post something that you may save to read.

Here is something someone else posted that sometimes helps me:

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

LET THEM GO!

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of goodbye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in goodbye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

LET THEM GO!

If you are holding on to someone that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...

LET THEM GO!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...

LET IT GO!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...

LET THEM GO!

If someone has angered you...

LET THEM GO!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...

LET THEM GO!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...

LET THEM GO!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents...

LET IT GO!

If you have a bad attitude...

LET IT GO!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...

LET IT GO!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.......

LET IT GO!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...

LET THEM GO!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed...

LET IT GO!

Get Right or Get Left, think about it, and then...

LET THEM GO!