Irish, I find it sad that you might have put your h's 'feathers not getting ruffled' and or you wanting to be low maintenance for HIM, over your own peace of mind and pride in the home, or the home's serenity, or its' value, or its' appearance ---and ahead of the home you provide to your children, and their feelings about it.
Sure you can regret that, for a MINUTE. Then be glad for the lesson learned and don't backslide on this if you can possibly avoid it. (It also gives him something more to miss about the home) but really, who cares what he SAYS? Not you! You live there, as does your son, and it's nicer now. That's a good thing. Period.
If you see him and he says something negative or if you hear of it thru the kids, you have to act as if you ASSUME he's glad for the improvements b/c after all, it's the family home and so "of course" he's happy for all of you. He surely wants the best for his family even if he's not living there anymore, WHO WOULDN'T WANT WHAT'S BEST FOR THEIR FAMILY?
This presumption of good intentions gives him something healthy to live up to even if you don't believe it and it is NOT a tactic. It's a way to cope with the kids comments and to show them that caring for oneself and one's home, is what one does. He is, simply, irrelevant to this now.
Hope this makes sense.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
