On the other man issue she would have to be willing to immediately tell me if be contacts her, and then I would want access to her lines of communication. Which if we were still married I don't think it would be a reach. With us being sep/divorced she's not going to do all that, plus it would come off as controlling.
It's not controlling if you ask her what she would be willing to do to help you regain trust.
That requires an answer from her.
Besides it is not controlling anyway to require healthy boundaries that are required for trust and respect.
Depending on your W's mindset right now, she may see that not applicable because you are separated.
You'll find out how she thinks when she answers you.
