[Greek]

Greek,

Thank you for your reply.

You are most welcome. I was a WAW, so I think I have some experience that fellas like you might be able to benefit from. Happy to help.

While I understand what your saying and while it may apply in some cases; I don’t think it applies to my case.

Yep. You are unique...just like everyone else.

I do not feel my wife is testing me in any way; she only becomes angrier the harder I try.

Well, you might not FEEL it, but I can guarantee she is. Happy, secure women don't walk out of their marriages. They just do not. She left when you didn't answer her calls for the love she needed, and the security that a man offers to a marriage. That was a test. Now you are sitting back, taking it in your stride, giving her space. Looks the same to her and to me.

And I have tried very hard to Nowin her back.

What did that look like?

She becomes happier, more amicable, and willing to talk when I ease up and stop talking about reconciliation. I feel that giving her space would be the best option to rekindle anything we may still have.

Because there is no adversity to her leaving her M - sure she's agreeable. Right b/c no one has to deal with the mess and reality.

But I could always be wrong. In your opinion; what do you think I should do to show her that I am willing to fight for our marriage. What gesture would be appropriate?

Dug to W: "I have decided that I am moving back into our home. If you are not happy living with me,you will be the one to leave. I am willing to stay and work on the marriage but if you are not, you should go. I have some decisions to make about out marriage, too."

So what if she gets angry? Don't be afraid of her anger. It's far better than her apathy! My H stood up to my decision to leave and it was the BEST thing he could have done for me. It let me see his strength, his resolve to do what was best for him and our family, and he earned my respect. I came home.

If he would have sat back as I see you are doing, I would have concluded nothing had or would change and I would have stayed gone.

Greek

[Dug]

Thank you all; based on your input I’ve decided I want this divorce to go through. I have no desire to make more changes to who I am in order to suit her and no desire to perform gallant gestures to her in order to prove something to her. I’ve done that all already and if it’s not enough than it’s not enough. Marriage shouldn’t be a three ring circus where a person must perform constant circuses tricks in order to keep their spouse’s attention; nor should a person think of their spouse as a dog who needs to be taught right from wrong through the use of reward and punishment techniques.

I am a good hearted person, who has always provided for my family. I have always been confident in my abilities and reflective on my weaknesses. I have always strived to improve myself and my situation but never to the point of excess where I have neglected others. I deserve much better than to be a monkey is someone’s circus.

Thank you again for all your help and I hope whatever life’s issues that brought you here get resolved to your satisfaction.

Dug

[Pensacolabroken]

Dug,

one thing I learned on this forum, is don't do anything based on others inputs. Do it for yourself and with your goals in mind. make it YOUR decision no matter what. OWN it.