She may be today and not tomorrow when her feeling might change? If she's into me today and then I get seriously handicapped would it last? Isn't there something big missing here?
Even though I'm starting to understand and embrace the man/woman dynamic we're discussing, deep down something is rubbing me the wrong way. Maybe a naive piece of optimistic foolishness from my childhood, but what about the idea of real commitment? What about the idea of having someone you can rely on to not abandon you in challenging times? We throw around these statements like "Your W is bored and unfulfilled", which is supposed to explain why she's bolting out of the marriage. Although one part of me sees that as a challenge to overcome, another part of me calls that BS. If the husband is saddled with the job of keeping his wife entertained and fulfilled, he will eventually fail. Eventually his own life challenges will cause him to drop the ball, and if the result is a wife who feels entitled to cheat and leave him, then why bother getting married at all? Why bother pretending to have this ILLUSION of commitment, when in reality it's "I'll stick around as long as you entertain me."
If women are truly prisoners of their feelings, and if their feelings are utterly dependent on the actions of their husband, then life marriage is a flawed concept, and we should stop pretending it isn't. One human can't be responsible for keeping another from being bored and unfulfilled for life.
Quote:
That woman is bored and unfufilled and will be looking for a lifeboat. Eventually the thoughts of the right thing do are - "I need to save myself, life is too short."
The problem with that is, they don't try to save themselves, they go out to find another man to save them. If they embraced the idea of saving themselves, they wouldn't consider their marriage to be failed, but rather themselves.
