because you need to forgive yourself and you can figure out how to do that yourself
tell me something. two things maybe
what was exciting about these internet men and what did your husband not do to satisfy you?
Hmmmm...they noticed me. They were interested in things I had to say, or at least they pretended to be, which is more than I got from my husband. They complimented me. They told me I was beautiful, even sexy. I could prance around the house half naked and my husband wouldn't even notice. And I'm sure there's gonna be some wise guy here that says it's because I'm not attractive or I don't have a nice figure. I'm not bragging...well, maybe only a little, but I look pretty good. My husband and I had sex, maybe...8 to 10 times per year. I'm a young woman, and I'm the one with the high sex drive in this relationship, where his seems to be almost non-existent. I didn't feel like he felt any physical or emotional connection to me. I was starting to feel like our roles were reversed in our relationship because he was too tired to have sex, or had a headache, or whatever. Isn't that the crap that women usually say? I used to tell my girlfriends not to keep sex from their mates because what a person isn't getting at home, they will find a way to get somewhere else. I didn't ever expect that I'd do that myself, and I wish I hadn't, even though my crimes were emotional, not physical, which is just as bad. Now by reading DR, I see how I could have handled things better in this respect, but my attempts to talk to him never did me any good.
I wasn't going run away from my husband or my home. I thought I could get things under control before anything "serious" happened.
And bluestar, you are right, I should have never said my husband abandoned me. Poor choice of words. I should have said...I "feel" like he abandoned me.
