Situation not ideal - need opinions

[anothercasualty]

Tonight STBXW going to "happy hour" for elementary school class reunion. I will be taking D8 to final soccer game with D10. Tommorrow I am going with STBXW to actual reunion. Not sure why she wants me to go. I have asked a couple of times if she'd rather go alone and she says no, she wants me to go... I just see it as an uncomfortable situation, however I will be charming and light hearted. I hate gameplay...

I am trying to remain as "mysterious" and "disconnected" as I can while still living with her and seeing her every day. She seems to want to know what I'm doing, but not really interested in me, just the "competition" of who is dealing better with the situation. It's stupid. It's like she wants to just pretend that everything is cool. "See... we can all be happy that I am going to divorce you!" Yeah, right...

The hardest part to remember is that you are in this for the long haul, not just for today. At some point a little "reality check" has got to come crashing in on her. I wish I knew a way to help that happen sooner than later. I am well aware of the reality of the situation and what it is going to mean in the long run. She has no real idea what divorcing is going to look like, just her "fantasy" of it...

It feels like there should be some way to get her to actually grasp what a divorce means, but I am not sure how. I avoid talking to her about anything of any real significance because it does nothing but damage to the R. I hope she has an epiphany before the D actually happens, but right now that seems unlikely. Friends and family think she's happy (she's a good actress) and are helping her feel "good" about her decision. At some point she has got to see the truth behind what it means doesn't she??? Maybe not... I just keep preparing myself for the inevitable... What else can I do???