Sheesh I'm such a DB junkie!! I just can't help reading my own sitch and thinking "try this!" or "try that!".lol.
Going "dark" (and hey, it was dim at best) got some interesting results. As did having OG around. Dangerous game having OG around, because I see SO clearly how you would give up on the one to pursue the other.
But my OG is not really pursuable so I think I'm safe. Famous last words probably...
But ultimatley, do I want H? I'm at that really wonderful place where he's leaving and I am fine with it! Better than fine...I have worked hard for years and want to put my efforts elsewhere. This has run its course.
Ultimately I like to mess with H. Going dark/dim got my H to think about himself for the first time in a while. A little instrospective thinking would be good for him!
He admitted that he has been lazy in this R--so, so, SOOOOO true!! Should I get him to explore that? He is not lazy at work...
Darn it, he is still interesting to me. He got my car fixed the other day and also told me to get the pump fixed over at the trailer I hang out at. Both these things were really expensive.
He told me he's had terrible stomach upset and pains for a week now. And he's never at peace. I told him if he'd done all he could to save us he'd probably have peace inside--I know I do because I did the work!!
Spoke to OG tonight--he wants to see me. I want him to take me to see Secretariat, gosh darn it. He knew the horse and I love to make fun of horse movies with real horse people. This one may be more difficult--I don't know the ins and outs of that horse's story.
I have two friends I haven't seen in ages coming over to park their trailers at my house and go ride with me in the a.m. I'm so excited to reconnect with my old friends!!
It's all about me right now--so weird. I seem to have all this....control? right now. So, so, SO weird!!
