help me out here. I have set the boundry: I will not live in an open marriage. I want her to leave and be free. IF she wants to remain she must NC the guy.
So how do I move this to the stage you are recommending?
I have already stated that to her. In those words.
Shall I state plainly what you have stated?
how do I do that with out it seeming like I am breaking instead of bending.
I am curious
M:42 W:39 S:9 M:20 T:25 D-bomb: 30 Sep 10 Wife changed her mind: 31 Oct 10 Working on it: 31 Oct 10
Okay new idea same script. I can see how it looks like I am controlling and I dont WANT to do that anymore.. REALLY.
so I wrote her a handwritten note:
WAW, I have been thinking aboout what you said, and I can understand and see how you would think I am controlling you. That is NOT my intention. You are a free and independent woman. But, I think it's best you find your own place to live, in the next few weeks or so. You can talk to whoever you want on the phone, Email, FB or on person. It will be for the best and you will see I am not controlling you. I dont know how I feel about you or "us". But, I dont want you to feel controlled. I want to and will have my integrity when I look in the mirror and I am learning. I wont share you. Maybe you were right, you need to me see genuinly that you are free to make your own choice. You know what? I respect you too much to ever make you feel controlled. You have taught me something new. Thank you!
M:42 W:39 S:9 M:20 T:25 D-bomb: 30 Sep 10 Wife changed her mind: 31 Oct 10 Working on it: 31 Oct 10