Just answering Coach's question. Why is it awkward for a man to use the word passionate? And I still sense that if you were married to my wife you would stay. Why not say what you would do instead of hiding behind vague hints?
If she did that, I'd get a locksmith to let me in. If she files, she files. I can't control her. If she changes her phone number, well, she'll have a hard time reaching me.
Just answering Coach's question. Why is it awkward for a man to use the word passionate? And I still sense that if you were married to my wife you would stay. Why not say what you would do instead of hiding behind vague hints?
Really doesn't matter what I would do. I am a different man with different experiences and different dreams. I do what I want to do because I can.
I point out certain things to you because they exemplify how you are driven by emotions not logic. Passion, and desire, for example, my first post to you read "You boys need to cut out the anger," yet another emotion. That may be all well and good in a "I stood tip toe on a little hill sort of way" but it is not working for you here. Didn't work for Keats either, did it? Fanny Mae never was attracted to him as much as he wanted her to be.
Remember, this a short term solution based approach. Approach it differently, logically.
Lets say this all falls through, your unhappy, your wife is unhappy, I don't see any progress being made, you end up divorced.
You have to support yourself, you have to support your kids, you'll owe your wife alimony, if you want someone to lust after you that'll cost you big money, can't drive a piece of crap if you want that lifestyle. On what? Passion, desire, emotion? That is not going to cut it. I laid it out for you in another post. Not that many girls out there looking for an emotional man. And if you find one, how are you going to deal with her hangups and ex-husband who owes her three months back child support? With emotion and co-dependence, maybe leave her to hook back up with your first wife?
You are a writer. Think about the situation from several different points of view. Like me, the third-person omniscient. LOL. Ever read, The Sound and the Fury?
Now if I was married to your wife would I stay? Don't know. Don't know her. From what you have written about her I think she should read Divorce Busting. A few of the chapters in there might help her to get this marriage back on track.
But if YOU want out then Just Do It. But do it in a logical and dignify manner. She is not a piece of chicken. Don't roll her around in bread crumbs before you fry her.
"But if YOU want out then Just Do It. But do it in a logical and dignify manner. She is not a piece of chicken. Don't roll her around in bread crumbs before you fry her." Steve McQueen
After the dust settles and the emotions die down divorce still remains a very destructive act compared with saner/logical options. Moving out is always risky and may push her either way. Unfortunately these situations are by nature not driven by logic but by emotion.
Thank you for being more clear. And you're right about me being driven by my emotions. I don't know if that's a new development since she told me she's unhappy, or if it's the way I've always been. Probably the latter. Thanks for a lot of food for thought.
A better couple of days with my girls. Working on controlling my temper/frustration. Very satisfied with how I'm dealing with both girls, especially in the morning when I'm tired.
W has been calling a lot more the last few days. Last night she talked about celebrating Christmas. This was in front of the girls at dinner. She also called me to ask if I thought it was a good idea to spend money on boots for D8. I told her that since she was doing the budget/finances now, she'd know better, but that I trusted her opinion, and thought the boots were a good idea that D8 had earned.
Last night after watching TV together we talked a lot in bed about writing, books we both like, building intomesee.
Yet today I'm still staring at the rental application on my desk...
Yet today I'm still staring at the rental application on my desk...
Understand what the internal conflict is trying to teach you.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Yet today I'm still staring at the rental application on my desk...
Understand what the internal conflict is trying to teach you.
Damned if I do, damned if I don't?
Think win-win.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
