You are not going to talk your way out if anything.
"Wife, I hear you about the sleeping problem this is very stressful. You dropping your classes is up to you, do what you think is best. As far as being out with other couples, I understand but that is what healthy and happy couples do. We are not there. Here is what I have decided, I will not share my wife with another man. That means no contact, if he contacts you I want to know right away. If you want those other things with me then you will have to meet me there before we can begin to have the marriage we both want."
Then you let her go to choose, no pursuing, fixing, pleading etc. Then you prepare for either outcome - divorce or reconciliation. She will respect you for standing up for yourself and to her and letting her decide.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
