I don't really think you all understand how much something as symbolic as taking my ring off meant to me, people. I'm a deeply emotionally charged person. You all know this. I tend to always let my emotions govern my actions. It's who I am. I can't just stop that, so I have to embrace it to some degree and accept it.
Taking my ring off REALLY was one of the last steps to detachment for me. I think we all have some varying degrees of detachment, and I'm probably on the weaker of the scale. It is who I am. I care too much - or sometimes care too little. It's like a switch for me that is either on or off. Right now I've turned it off.
I know you all like to beat up on me and make fun of the sitch, but I've been in serious pain over all of this. I know poking fun and making bets is supposed to lighten the mood - but again I stress that this is all so very fresh and real to me. I've done my best over the past 2-3 weeks that I can. I'm gradually moving more towards what everyone else here deems an acceptable level of detachment.
John, we started here at the same time, and in many ways, we're very similar in temperament. But the emotion thing is something we both need to deal with, not just accept. Steve McQueen was right on the money with his 2x4 for me.
You can't let your emotions govern your actions. Influence and guide to some extent? Sure. But your actions should be based on your values, your N.U.T.s.
I let a comment from my wife hurt me, and throw me off emotionally for two weeks. You've let your wife use your emotions to manipulate you.
Taking off your ring was an emotional act; an act where you were shouting to the world; "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore." I sometimes think of taking my ring off, but almost always realize I'd be doing it to send a message (in a very passive aggressive manner) that I was mad at her, and that I wanted her to make me feel better.
Sure somethings are symbolic, and you can take symbolic steps to make yourself feel good. Build up enough little steps, and you'll feel much better about yourself. But your feelings will really be coming from how you're thinking about yourself.
Another example. I always viewed myself as someone who took the easy way out, never finished things, yada yada yada. Now I've started running, and running in races. Something I would have been terrified of doing. I've only been running seriously for about 2 months, and have run in 2 races. Now I don't have any fear of pushing myself, because I know I can do it. Not because I feel I can, but because I think I can.
