Not sure where to start or end, WAW? - #3

[john28]

I don't really think you all understand how much something as symbolic as taking my ring off meant to me, people. I'm a deeply emotionally charged person. You all know this. I tend to always let my emotions govern my actions. It's who I am. I can't just stop that, so I have to embrace it to some degree and accept it.

Taking my ring off REALLY was one of the last steps to detachment for me. I think we all have some varying degrees of detachment, and I'm probably on the weaker of the scale. It is who I am. I care too much - or sometimes care too little. It's like a switch for me that is either on or off. Right now I've turned it off.

I know you all like to beat up on me and make fun of the sitch, but I've been in serious pain over all of this. I know poking fun and making bets is supposed to lighten the mood - but again I stress that this is all so very fresh and real to me. I've done my best over the past 2-3 weeks that I can. I'm gradually moving more towards what everyone else here deems an acceptable level of detachment.

Again, I'm highly emotional. My actions prove it. The little things that you all see that seem petty and baby steps are in all reality huge leaps for me. I hope this helps you to understand more of where I am - I really feel like I'm much further than you all realize at this point.

You can argue otherwise, and most people here will agree with you. But you're not me. You don't really know what I feel.

And yes, I know. Words mean nothing - it's only what I do that matter.