DB9- My bomb

[Db9]

1. I said on this that I agreed, working on this a long time ago would have helped things.

2. I said yea we should be out with those friends right now.

3. She also talked about dropping her grad classes. I told her I understood and that maybe it would give her time to catch up on sleep. I said I understood with everything that is going on that it would probably help out.

Right now though i feel like i really need help with my validation technique

[pookie69]

1. I said on this that I agreed, working on this a long time ago would have helped things.

2. I said yea we should be out with those friends right now.

3. She also talked about dropping her grad classes. I told her I understood and that maybe it would give her time to catch up on sleep. I said I understood with everything that is going on that it would probably help out.

Right now though i feel like i really need help with my validation technique

Do I look fat in this dress?

[Db9]

Coach, if u were me what would your next step be b/c the only thing I think I should do now is back off again. I do feel like I missed opportunities last night, but it's to late to go back. I assume it's also not a good idea for me to bring those things back up, that she has to bring them up again.

[Db9]

In response to you pookie I would say

I understand that you have those feelings, but I think you look great

[pookie69]

In response to you pookie I would say

I understand that you have those feelings, but I think you look great

Without you in it, the dress would look fat.

[Db9]

Alright, that does sound better, but does mine work?

[pookie69]

Alright, that does sound better, but does mine work?

If the dress has feelings.

[Db9]

I've just felt lately that with validation I was suppose to listen and say I understand. I felt that saying more was pushing my oppinion on it or telling her this is how I feel, u should feel that way too. It makes me very hesitant on my validations.

[Db9]

So I have to wait for her to bring those things up again before I can say anything or validate her better?

[pookie69]

You don't validate just for a sake of validating.

You can't change the way she feels directly. So you need to agree with her.

If you don't like the way she feels, ask what you can do to make her feel different.