Hey pookie, funny, I don't see you being controlling in this example. I see resentment.
It almost sounds like there's part of the story missing? What do you mean blew you off? Do you mean she stood you up?
If so, why didn't you just tell her that her actions hurt your feelings, rather than texting her what you did? Your interaction with her at the house sounds more like pent-up hurt feelings coming out as resentment and coldness.
It really was not a big deal. Things happen and plans can change. We are both busy professionals and I know how the day can turn out to be different within minutes.
I have been working on the CB lately. That's why I did what I did. Yes, there is resentment because I want to see if she is working hard enough to stop the crap she got used to for past 6 months.
Other than that there is not much to resent. She is slowly coming around at her own slow pace. I am not going to rush her.
Oh, I'm sorry... one more question... did you ask her why she blew you off for your dinner date? What did she say?
It was not really a date. We just decided during a day what to do and where to go.
She was out with some clients and was running late. She kept telling me that we were still on and that she is not going to eat out with them. In her book it is not professional for her to dine alone with male clients. I respect that.
So hours went by and it was getting late. All I wanted for her to say was. "I will be late, so feed yourself." That's all.
It really was not a big deal. Things happen and plans can change. We are both busy professionals and I know how the day can turn out to be different within minutes.
Really? Wow. That surprises me to hear you say that. Honestly... your responses and reactions sounded quite 'cold' below, so I was curious.
Originally Posted By: pookie69
That prompted a phonecall back which I did not answer. Shortly after she texted that she is on her way and will stop to take-out some food. Asked what I would like.
I did not answer, got up and left the house before she got home.
She was still up when I returned with bunch of stuff sitting on the stove. She got up and started warming things up.
I looked at her and said "If you are doing it for me I appreciate it, but I already ate, thanks." and I went to bed.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
Yes, there is resentment because I want to see if she is working hard enough to stop the crap she got used to for past 6 months.
She doesn't have to because you are still pursuing.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
It really was not a big deal. Things happen and plans can change. We are both busy professionals and I know how the day can turn out to be different within minutes.
Really? Wow. That surprises me to hear you say that. Honestly... your responses and reactions sounded quite 'cold' below, so I was curious.
Why does this surprise you?
I am givin her the space she needs, but I will not be a doormat and run home to take care of the house and the pets with nothing in return.
That has been her biggest CB. She has abused the conveniece of me enabling her.
So my behavior was cold, maybe. Annoyed, definately.
She has been becoming better lately and one of the ways she has expressed that has been taking me out to dinner if I had to change my own plans to accomodate her busy schedule.
That was the deal last night. She told me that she was going to be late and that afterwards she would by me a dinner out.
She failed. Dicpiline has never been a strong side of her.
Maybe I was too harsh, but I am working on getting my respect back and trying to recover from my doormat status.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Things happen and plans can change. We are both busy professionals and I know how the day can turn out to be different within minutes.
Quote:
not to tolerate broken promises and waffling. Do or don't is what I expect.
So which is it?
We had a mantra in the Air Force - Flexibility is the Key to Air Power. The crew dogs added some to it.
Indecision is the key to Flexibility.
Therefore the key to Air Power is Indecision.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
