Those who's WAW wanted to work on M

[Lost&Lonely]

Hi gr8,

I had an affair 15 years ago. We had 2 small children. The affair ran it's course and my H wrote a letter to me saying he was letting me go. I then realized I wanted my marriage to survive (I guess he dropped the rope). Anyway, we didn't have clue a as to what to do. I was still grieveing loss of OM (who was still calling me (for another few months, until I had courage to cut him off)) and H pushed me into sex before I was ready. We coasted for another 10 years and now I'm on this board because my H is DONE and wants out.

So with that background I would say:
1. Wait for her to contact you, if she doesn't, you have your answer
2. When and if she does contact you, both of you make up some ground rules that you can both agree to.
3. if she has been involved with anyone, she must stop all contact with this person and give you access (passwords) to all devices. If she says "no" it's a deal breaker
4. go slow, plan dates, be affectionate and friendly, but let her make the first move towards being intimate.
5. get counciling, this is so important. You need help to get over whatever pulled you apart. You'll need a 3rd party (with clear vision) to help coach you over the rough patches.

Not sure if I answered your question, but that's my insight