# 73 - Ocean

[sandycay]

Hey Maria,

I get why your h feels the way he does. Rejection sucks. I pray he can process it and navigate through it well.

On your dad's front. I had my father at home during his final days.... and decided I would "grieve" him after he was gone. While he was there (now bed ridden) I layed beside him for his last 5 days, played his favorite music softly and had nice scented candles burning. Towards the end, we had a conversation (once he was aware of the impending outcome) of how much I was going to miss him and that I loved him. The rest of the time was remember when conversations.... remembering the wrinkles on his knuckles, ingraining them into my memories.... his face and so on.

I have always looked upon that as a most special time in my life. I was fortunate (I know a strange word to use here) to be holding both of my parents in my arms when they passed. What an honor that was for me. Just as they loved me into this world.... I loved them out.

I miss my daddy quite often, and i don't know if you remember but STBXH dropped the 2nd bomb (IDLY) speech only 3 weeks after my mom's passing.

I can tell through your post how much you love your daddy. Love him well though this. You will feel better for it.

Praying for you

S