For a 51-year-old woman, you seem to treat your wife like a father would treat a child, or a pet. You guide her around, keep her busy, and try to rescue her moods and emotions.
I dunno; just my impression from reaching your thread. I'm trying to learn more about boundaries, so its title caught my attention. In any event, I think you should have stuck to your plans and not taken her to dinner. She had all day to eat something, and then you allow her to ruin your plans. I think if maybe she saw you "doing your thing," with or without her, she'd be forced more to hop on board the marital wagon, so to speak.
