Who among us has not had a dark night of despair? I have had a good baker's dozen or so. Believe it or not, things will look better with morning's light, and the next, and the next. We crash and burn on occasion; so what?
The healthiest thing you can do for yourself and your family is to stop trying to get into his head. How can you know what he thinks/feels when he doesn't?
My H told our D24 yesterday that I just kept postponing the inevitable. Now, that ticked me off because sfb still doesn't get the significance of our 20th anniversery & healthcare for me. Not that it should. The darker he stays, the better.
You are doing a wonderful job. You are taking care of you and your family, the important jobs. You are finding out day after day how strong you can be on your own. Tomorrow, or rather today, go out and do something completely different just for you. Get a wild haircut, get a facial, get your nails done. I, personally, bought a pair of black tights, a sexy paisely blouse, and black boots. Couldn't afford em' ; have to pay them off over time, but damn I'll look good at the football game Friday night.
The dark night will be over soon, it may not be your last, but they do begin to space out.
