In the process

[flowmom]

hi Newmama. I see you're perky as usual . You always make me smile. Some guy is going to be very lucky.

I say bummer to those folks who want us to be nun-like supermoms indefinitely :P . Yes, it's good to be comfortable with oneself, but truly most of us are meant to live in close relationship with other adults and in our society that generally means a romantic relationship. Yes, we have to do the emotional work before starting to date, but the work doesn't stop then. It's actually as we forge new connections that life confronts us with choices and tests and reminds us of what we've learned...and haven't learned.

I get a bad vibe off Country Guy. If he can't impress you on the first date, then that's not a good sign. Guitarist didn't spend one cent on me on our first date (we went for a walk), but he certainly did impress me and there were no false notes.

About City Guy...if he is not setting up a date there is a reason. And there can be lots of reasons. I think it's best to wait until he makes a move. And if he doesn't I wouldn't pursue.

Having said that I broke my own rule about that! When I met Guitarist online we IMed a couple of times and he said that he wanted to meet with me. We even exchanged email addresses to set something up. Then I didn't hear from him for a week! At the time I didn't know (but suspected) that he was dating someone else. I guess I was a "backup" since he's not really into dating multiple women at once. After a week I hadn't heard from him and against my better judgement I sent him an email saying "I'm curious about whether there would be chemistry between us...are you?". Aren't I a brazen hussy?? That was the nudge it took him to IM me and actually set up a date. I honestly think that he was too "distracted" and he probably wouldn't have set up a date without that nudge. And when he met me he was *very* glad that he did. But of course he had no way of knowing how awesome I actually am in person .

I guess my experience is that it's amazing how much you can pick up from a person by interacting online and from a first meeting. Trust those feelings and impressions. Sometimes reactions against people can be picking up on deeper stuff. I remember that on my first date with M he accepted my offer to go Dutch. I didn't mind, but it become obvious that he isn't a particularly generous person in other ways. Whereas Guitarist refused my "go dutch" offer when we first dined together...and he certainly has no more disposable income than M, possibly less. But he is a more giving person emotionally. The little things are big things in the early stages and we ignore them at our peril.

Hugs!