Still needing some encouragement

[ericmsant2]

Kissak,

then wanted ME to come read it to him so we could discuss it.

Why couldn’t he read it himself. IMO, this is a sign of power.

He was a little insulted that I want him to do nice things for me

Well he would be in his MLC frame of mind right now. Like I said…do you think that anything you say will snap him out of it? Psstt….the answer starts with the letter N and ends with an O.

...actually to him it came across as "you want me to kiss your butt all day so I can get sex at night?"

Personally – you need to cut him off in the bed room. You do not have to tolerate his bull. Really, do you think sleeping with him is gonna slap him out of this? Hey, look if you can take it emotionally, then hell I say go for it BUT really what I see in your post is that this is slowly eating at your self-respect.

SO, he didnt see my side at all. He saw it the way he wanted to.

MLC….please repeat after me….”my H is in a crisis – nothing I say will snap his as* out of it”…then repeat again 10 x’s.

We had a long discusion about it, which he tells me this morning that he thought it was a good discussion, just that nothing was resolved.

Nothing will be resolved for HIM unless you do as YOUR told! Seriously Kissak, you should know by now that he is in lala land.

I have a feeling that if I had sat there and agreed with everything he said, that would have been the resolving he was talking about.

Hey…if everyone agrees with everything I say –I’d never have any problems. Kinda of a childish way to think – right? Oh…that’s right he is in a crisis and is acting like a child.

Also discussed with me how he had felt mislead back when he first came home...that I had told him he could move in after the holidays, but it was March before I let him move all his stuff back in...yet he had been practially staying there most nights anyway...I just hadnt said "ok, move back now". Im confused to how I mislead him. I was only being careful...then after he said that he also said "well, I know you werent misleading me, but that's how I felt."

These are HIS feelings and right now this is really how HE feels. Once again, nothing you can do about it. As for you confusion – why are you confused? Oh let me see, you must still be thinking that he is in his right mind right now. He’s not. Confusion = MLC (nickel to someone).

Ugh. Im fighting with myself this morning. My head is saying "your done, he isnt going to change at all, he doesnt love you, its never going to work"...then that stupid little voice in the back of my head keeps whispering "just do this one more thing, maybe he will want you then".

Why wont that stupid little voice just shut up already???

IMO, that stupid little voice is telling you your NOT done. The question is really done with “what”. The M? Your H? Actually, IMO, your not done facing your fears and becoming the person that YOU always wanted to be. When you get to the point…you’ll just know…and at that point your done. Done with your M and ready to take on a new R, which could very well be with YOUR H.

You are still so attached to him and his actions towards you. What he does, what he says, if he wants sex, if he doesn’t want sex. Kissak, sorry to say…but F*ck HIM right now. Really just focus all of you energy on YOU. Live life. You want to go out – make arrangements. Don’t count on him for anything. I am not saying be a beotch no – but stop letting him control aspects of YOUR life.

Maybe he keeps asking me what IM thinking hoping that maybe I will say "its over".

You may be right. Most of the time they cannot pull the plug and they want you to do it to save them the grief of having to be RESPONSIBLE for their choices.

Well, it just might be time....if I could drown out that whisper.

Come’s a time when the whisper changes…..it may start saying…..”fly kissak”….go live kissak – I have the same whisper, except mine says “the force is with you young skywalker” – LOL – just kidding.

Hope you are enjoying your day with the kids.

God Bless,
Eric