How should I proceed now? Is there hope?

[NotCrackingUp]

Thanks Pinhead.
Feel better, just lost and sad betimes. I don't want to give up on the dream, but have had to choose sanity. Even my kids were telling me to move on (in their own ways: "don't text him Mam, he should text you first...").

It feels like my life as a woman is over, though I still feel young and am a very loving and tender person. I had so much to offer him, that he won't again find easily, and he stopped seeing it or finding it important. It feels such a waste. I hope I won't grow bitter and cynical.

Hope your situation is ok. I've been reading. I can't understand your W making L with you but yet splitting hairs about being in love. Sounds a bit like arguing how many angels fit on the head of a pin (is that where you got the nom de plume from?).

In my humble and wonky experience, love, after about 12 months, is a decision, no longer just a feeling. And deep marital love has many mansions, from exasperation and boredom, to absolute passion, depending on the pressures of life, mental and physical states, events in life etc. I loved my H to bits, but he got on my nerves sometimes, his waspishnes was unattractive, I could be too knackered to feel love for anyone. And then he'd say or do something that brought back the man I'd married, and I felt immense passion for him. It was ever - changing. So I don't know why she wants you to stay, is having a physical relationship with you, yet doesn't want to work on the M and splits hairs about feelings. Sorry, but she comes across as cold and materialistic. Mixing money and debt with a relationship, putting the two on the same weighing-scales, telling you you can go outside the M to date and yet ML with you; all this sounds very strange to me. Love and commitment can't be put on the same plane as money, to my mind, no matter how tight things are.It's a bit like a boss saying to you: I'll keep you on at your job while your hair is short, or something of that ilk. I can't really put my finger on it, but the problem seems to be there. She's bargaining and bartering with things that normally don't count as chips. Hope I don't hurt as I say this. It just comesup again and again in your posts and every time, I'm at a loss.
Chin up, whatever you do.Thanks for your support. Hugs.
NCU