WAW 20 years and wants out

[Pensacolabroken]

Serenity,

I HAVE admitted my part and I have reached out to the MC first for my own well being to discuss for the first time my actions and how they impacted her. I am no saint. I understand actions have consequence and yes I am a passionate person and cannot make any excuses for the past. But I have learned from the mistakes and I may pay the ultimate price. I do not intend to sound controlling. I have disclosed very personal information in the hopes of learning from the insight of folks around here.

In my heart I want to remain with her. I have been up and down and I have tried to find a bearing. I have discovered that the melty man is not going to work with her and yes I have discovered hard ass meanie wont work either.

I called her this afternoon because I had to reply to a family matter and I did discuss rationally, and calmly my role in this using the points Steve asked me to think about it. I told her that I would NEVER do anything to come between our son and her and I would be a full partner in the raising of our son with her.

I also acknowledged to her for the first time I pushed her to the TKD OM by my actions and being selfish with my desires over her own self esteem and I caused the cancer in the marriage. I recognize that I was controlling and did not respect her boundry after she called off the PA from the time 10 years ago.

As for me being emotional and all over the map, MEA CULPA

I am learning as I go.. my processor is a little fried and I am taking a breath.

I am also standing firm on the TKD OM Boundry for her to remain in the house. I am going to remain a little loose on the timeline because she is looking at APT today.

Incidently she is also going to an Attorney tomorrow and that visit will allow the both of us to be repesented for an uncontested divorce. Which I intend to give her.

thanks