WAW 20 years and wants out

[Pensacolabroken]

Steve,

yes it was mutual the first PA ten years ago. She ended it when we moved in 2003. As we got involved raising our son, I missed the intimacy and kept prying at her to open up and discuss with me, thinking it was the way to achieve the spark and intimacy again. I realize NOW that was wrong. Big time. I think a person can change. I have been faced with the reality I am losing my marriage on my own accord on the things I did. I want to repair it.

My wife IS involved with another man now and I cannot hope to repair my marriage if she remains with him, because she will not be open to and R talk. That is the reason I am using LRT.

I want to work on my responsibility. I am going to face the accountability for my actions one way or another. It does not excuse my wife's part in the last 3 months.

During this whole journey, I am seeing that I was controlling and I did destroy her self esteem. I do not feel good about that.

your points are valid.

I am kicking her out of the house, because this EA/PA with the TKD OM is hers. It was her decision and it is wrong. I have asked her to break it off with him and she refuses so I am left with no choice but to accept the reality and move on with my life. Part of that is for her to accept the responsibility also and move on with her life as she desires. I havee given her the respect she deserves and have accepted that we will probably be divorced.

her leaving is the first step for both of us.