I am anti-phobic, I think. It's not that I am not afraid of anything;it's just that I check my feelings against a realistic risk assesment before I commit to them
For example, I am hyper-vigilant when driving, so there's an element of what I would argue is reasonable fear there. My reasoning goes like this: there are many others on the road in vehicles that weigh thousands of pounds travelling at many tens of miles an hour, and that's a lot of potential force to absorb... especially in an inelastic collision (I blame Physics courses for teaching me this), and the drivers are often doing things other than driving. The fear... is reasonable, and the statistics back it up (50,000+ automobile deaths alone each year in the US, and this does not count horrible injuries--better to be alert... like you are being hunted by tigers).
But generally... I don't fear a whole lot. Not afraid of flying, elevators, closed spaces, non-poisonous spiders, mice, trying new things where reasonable safety precautions are taken, and so on.
There is one possible exception: snakes. Don't like them, don't know which ones are poisonous, and they all give me the willies.
My wife, on the other hand, is afraid of flying (but has done it twice now, so progress there), elevators, escalators, being near the egde of anything over one story tall, caves, roller coasters and so on.
She knows that these fears often prevent her from enjoying a lot of things in life.
I am at a loss on how to approach any of these things other than to accept them because there is no reasoning with her on any of them most of the time (OK, I did get her to fly the very first time, but that may have been a fluke).
Any input?
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Isn't it said aroung here that we most face our fears head on?
The fear of: being alone, codependent, not finding someone else, losing our S and so on.
Conquering the fear comes from within. You can preach all the statistic in the world to a non-flyer but that won't change their mind about getting on a plane.
I can relate to the flying fear. Before my bomb I feared dying, not being there for my kids b/c my plane was the ONE.
I realized that's no way to live. I haven't flown yet but I'm ready to travel where ever.
Each person needs to decide for themselves to address their fears.
2 cents
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
My wife, on the other hand, is afraid of flying (but has done it twice now, so progress there), elevators, escalators, being near the egde of anything over one story tall, caves, roller coasters and so on.
She knows that these fears often prevent her from enjoying a lot of things in life.
I am at a loss on how to approach any of these things other than to accept them because there is no reasoning with her on any of them most of the time (OK, I did get her to fly the very first time, but that may have been a fluke).
Uhh... wait a second Time. Let me get this straight. You're asking how can approach her so that she can get over HER fears?
Are they causing you a problem? Has she specifically asked for your help in addressing her fears? Have you offered help and she's accepted it, but you're unsure of how to?
My H often used to decide that he was going to 'help' me 'fix' one of my 'problems' or concerns without me asking him to, or without him asking me if I even wanted his input first. It never ended well Time. Tread carefully!
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
Legend has it that St. Patrick drove all the snakes away from Ireland. So to enjoy things in life rent a single story cottage in low lying area of Lough Neagh. Have your W drive there while being stuffed in the trunk.
