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pookie69 #2092338 10/20/10 04:26 PM
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She knows that in six months we will be divorced. She believes we are waiting on 6 months to get here. After I got the lawyer I went the chasing route so she knew I didn't want the divorce. I would ask if we could work things out, which all I would ever get from her is an I don't know. two weeks ago I chased once again, around our anniversary. She told me to give her space, and it was then that I started the lrt and GAL. She called two days later on our anniversary to say hi. The rest I think I've put in the thread up to this point


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Bomb:9/6/10

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2091564&page=1
Db9 #2092340 10/20/10 04:32 PM
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So time is on your side.

Time to make plans.


Enjoy the Silence
pookie69 #2092351 10/20/10 04:39 PM
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The plan was to do the lrt and for me to GAL. I've done that. What kind of a plan should I be looking at?


M:27
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Bomb:9/6/10

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2091564&page=1
Db9 #2092354 10/20/10 04:41 PM
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Originally Posted By: Db9
The plan was to do the lrt and for me to GAL. I've done that. What kind of a plan should I be looking at?



It's a ongoing process. You have not done that, you are just beginning.

What are your goals?


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pookie69 #2092357 10/20/10 04:44 PM
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Also what about the current situation? Do I talk to her now about why I cut contact, or do I just continue the no contact?


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Bomb:9/6/10

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2091564&page=1
Db9 #2092364 10/20/10 04:53 PM
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Originally Posted By: Db9
Also what about the current situation? Do I talk to her now about why I cut contact, or do I just continue the no contact?


I would tell her that you don't want to talk because of OM.

Check her reaction and proceed from there.


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Db9 #2092368 10/20/10 04:56 PM
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Quote:
Also what about the current situation? Do I talk to her now about why I cut contact, or do I just continue the no contact?


So your wife had contact maybe once a month for a yr and you had no boundary in place and now you just want to go dark? Most As involve hundreds - thousands of contacts a month via phone/txt/e-mail. Can't you see she is trying in a sincere way?


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Coach #2092377 10/20/10 05:05 PM
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Coach,

I don't see where the time to set boundaries was.

She confessed to an A, he reacted.

Just recently he went back to look at the phone records and saw more contact.

If there is a boundary setting time, it would be now.


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Coach #2092378 10/20/10 05:06 PM
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But coach, what exactly is she trying? She said she wanted the divorce, she left. It's not like she's on bended knee begging mentor forgiveness.

On another note I just texted her to tell her that I'll tell her why I want no contact after work. She then asked if we could do lunch, I said no. She then asked if she could call me at lunch so we could please talk. I said I had plans. She the said we can meet after work.


M:27
W:25
Bomb:9/6/10

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2091564&page=1
pookie69 #2092379 10/20/10 05:11 PM
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Quote:
If there is a boundary setting time, it would be now.


That's my point - you look like a A$$ if you just get all indignant without stating the consequences ahead if time. She needs to know why he is sideways with her.


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
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