I heard a voice saying I wasnt good enough my whole life - first by my mom, than by my h. I allowed them to make me feel less than.
I have worked hard these past three years to silence the voice, to combat the feelings, to figure out what about me I could change in order not to feed into those feelings.
Still working on it and I know I have a ways to go.
My C explained to me that they were my mirror since they were two of the most important figures in my life. When I looked in it, I saw what they reflected back at me.
Now I have different mirrors. Positive people who accept me just the way I am, flaws and all. But most of all, when I look in the mirror, I see the me I have become.
So, keep digging. Keep learning and pushing yourself.
It will all take time, but it is so worth it and so are you.
Thank you for sharing your story. While mine is different, he was just gone, there are similarities. I think we all have those quiet, whispery voices telling us we're just not good enough, can't get it right, etc.
One thing I've noticed about myself lately, and my friends have noticed, is that I am happy; truly happy. I enjoy my job, interactions with patients, things I do with friends, and I stay too busy to hear the voice most of the time. When I do, I tell it to STFU. This punkin is doing fine; and so is pei. Punkin pei, get it????
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
This one's for you B-lady .. oh, and you too Grit ...
So I called H this morning to let him know that the kids school pics are in, and to ask him if he would like to see them so he could order some. Because I'm leaving on a trip for the weekend tomorrow, and have to send the order to school with D7 tomorrow, I thought "why not?" and invited him to lunch. He accepted and we met a local fast food joint.
Friendly chit chat, laughed at the kids pics, nice and relaxed. We picked the photos we wanted, he said he'd share the cost, blah, blah, blah.
Then he says, "Hey did you see D's FB status the other day?" To which I replied, "Nope, what did it say?". Then he says "Oh, he's had a bunch of funny ones on about marriage lately." And I say "Yeah, he has two ex wives and a girlfriend!" ... and then he says ...
"Yeah this one said 'Marriage is kinda like a deck of cards, it starts with two hearts and a diamond, and eventually all you want is a club and a spade!'"
I laughed my a$$ off ..... what else can ya do ....
Have a great day all, I am! Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
