I haven't posted in a while, am using a new name (same initials), and have moved over from the Infidelity forum. Since my old posts have disappeared, here's a quick recap:
Fall, 2006: WH, who is a University professor, starts working out and complaining about kids, money, life.
Spring, 2008: WH starts spending 15-18 hours a day at work and becomes VERY short-tempered with kids.
July, 2008: I read an online article called, "10 Ways to Tell if Your Husband is Having an Affair." WH fit 7 of the 10 indicators. Shocked, I check the cell phone records and am horrified to see WH is exchanging 1,000 texts a month with one of his female grad students, usually when I'm asleep, and one time from Midnight-4 am. I confront him. He confesses EA, but denies PA. I demand that he get rid of her. He tells me she's used up all her lab rotations and can't move.
Jul 2008-Jan 2009: We try to piece or marriage back together. He stops working so much, but I HATE that he goes to work every day with OW there.
Jan 2009: Discover they're still having EA, they've just gone underground. Furious and hurt, I report them to University ethics committee to try and break them up. Provost tells WH flat out that "as long as they're 'consenting adults,' the University will look the other way." Damn school won't even follow their own rules!
Feb 2009: WH starts to withdrawal.
Mar-Dec 2009: I walk on eggshells. WH mentions separation once or twice.
Holidays, 2009: WH acts like old self. I think affair is over.
Jan 2010: WH announces he wants to separate. I talk him out of it. He says it has nothing to do with OW, he just "needs space." But I discover she's dropping him off on side street near our home 3-5x a week (WH walks to work). After weeks of trying, I finally get a video of her dropping him off.
Mar 2010: I send a nasty email to OW under an assumed name with copy of video, calling her a whore, copying about a dozen people, hoping she'll be embarrassed enough to quit. Instead, the university police show up at my door with a search warrant to seize my computer. When they get proof that I'm the one who sent the email, she has me arrested for harrassment. WH is FURIOUS that I "embarrassed him."
Apr 2010: WH moves to basement to begin 6 month separation required by our state for divorce. He stops wearing wedding ring, stops trying to be a part of the family, comes and goes at will.
May-Aug 2010: WH and OW makeup and breakup a dozen times. WH VERY self-absorbed and spends most of his time at work.
Aug 2010: I read Jim Conway's "Men in Midlife Crisis" and see conversations WH and I have had, almost verbatim (even though the book was written in 1978!). Conclude WH is in MLC.
Aug 2010: Trial date for arrest. WH stands by OW, not me. Judge is SO appalled, she gives me a small fine and 6 month probation (minimum requirement). D.A. ashamed he ever believed OW's lies about her being an "innocent victim" of a "vindictive woman." WH announces he's moving out.
Sept 2010: WH moves out to pursue affair. Oddly, I'm relieved. Odder still, OW avoids him for nearly a month.
Oct 2010: They're back on again. WH is seen leaving OW apt at 2 am. They're hot-and-heavy for about 10 days, then break up. State-required 6 month separation ends Oct 10th. WH does NOT file for divorce.
