Don't let your fear of it maybe not working, your trust maybe being misplaced keep you from taking the chance if it is something you want.
or maybe he just needs to work a little harder to earn her trust? What's the hurry at this point?
Time,
No one, especially me, said that she should rush anything.
If he wants this as he says he does, he will continue to do what is necessary. And her H, has made many strides towards his own growth in this last year. Much more than he was doing.
A beginning. Isn't that what we all come here hoping for?
She should also make sure that fear is not ruling her decision of whether or no to do this, if it is what she wants.
Originally Posted By: Fallgirl
Long convo-brief synopsis: H doesn`t like limboland anymore(he`s in guestroom) and doesn`t like legal separation looming so he wants us to work together on the marriage.
Ok so now you know what he wants.
At this point, does the why matter?
It is a lot to expect some sort of declaration of love at this point. While it would be wonderful to get that…
Do you need that to initially begin attempting to rebuild this M?
There are no guarantees, even when you get to this point.
Originally Posted By: Fallgirl
And now I don`t know if his reasons are enough to reestablish a marriage. He has been very angry, abusive in the past and I risk that happening again if I go back into M with him.Nothing about his wanting me or caring for me.
Are you strong enough to not allow yourself to be put in that position again?
Are you able to recognize the signs and patterns and be able to stop it if it looks like that is where it is going?
FG, this is where boundaries begin…
You don’t just jump back into the deep end…
If you want to do this, try this, what do you need to see, to experience to make it happen?
Feelings, as we all know, grow and change with time.
Him wanting you and caring for you, will come with more time. I think he has taken a huge step here already.
Baby steps, my friend, baby steps.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
